BLUE

24 Jan

Oh man.  It’s been a rough few days.  Suddenly, this not running thing is hitting me very hard.

I mean, I admit that if you read my posts from the past 6 weeks or so, I’ve probably mentioned in every single one that PF sucks, not running is the worst, blah blah blah.

But for some reason the past few days have felt really extra horrible because of not running and today, I’m feeling totally blue.  I actually cried at my desk at work.  (OMG, I am a tool.  I admit it.  I’m ashamed.)

When feeling blue, I should just think of this. This movie never fails to make me giggle.

One of my wonderful friends very astutely pointed out that initially, I was distracted with the holidays/travel, then moving, then adjusting to co-habitating.  In other words, I had plenty of things to focus on instead of dwelling on my bum-a$$ foot.  But now, it’s consuming me.  (Cue the violins!)

Though I am fairly loath to emo-ing out too much here on the blog, I’m hoping that maybe venting a bit will make me feel a little better?  Maybe?

Anyhow, the status of the foot remains the same.  I have not run AT ALL in 2 weeks.  I had been running, albeit very little, since the PF diagnosis.  Nothing more than twice a week, and just a 5 miler here and a 4 miler there (with the exception of the Ted Corbitt 15K.)  However, 2 weeks ago when I admitted to myself that my foot was not getting better at all, I thought maybe I should wisen up and drop the running completely for a bit.

This is me stubbornly running the Ted Corbitt 15K on Dec 17, even though I had a nasty hangover, AND had just gotten my PF diagnosis. It feels like ages ago.

There has been no change in my foot that I can see.

I also went to Physical Therapy twice last week and am going again tonight.  I was feeling really positive about it.  I thought my foot was getting better.  But then, the pain returned, and remained.  I’ve been doing the exercises at home like I’m supposed to.  I’m still wearing arch supporting inserts in every single piece of footwear that I’ve had on.  I’M EVEN SLEEPING IN THE MOTHER EFFING BOOT.

You remember the boot. It's comfy and cozy, like a fuzzy pair of slippers... It's just the thing I want to wear to bed!

*%$&#(%&!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

While going through and clearing out my bookmarked websites on my computer today and came across this link, and I actually felt an ACHE for that day.  I remember it was a lovely spring day, just a touch of a chill in the air.  It was my first time running with Ali, and it was really fun!

So then I started thinking, “OMG what if springtime comes and I’m still not running?”  I really think I might lose it if the dreadful winter months pass, springtime arrives, and I’m still burdened with this effing PF.

OK, I need to chill.  This is certainly not the end of the world.  I need to stop being a little b*tch.  It HAS to get better, and until then, I need to woman up.

In happier news, I saw a great play last night on Broadway.  I definitely recommend Stick Fly (produced by Alicia Keys.)  The cast as a whole is pretty fantastic, but the bright spot in it for me was Condola Rashad, who is Felicia Rashad (Claire Huxtable!)’s daughter.  I was inclined to assume some theatre nepotism was going on there with casting her fresh out of college, but she is actually a real talent.  I hope she wins a Tony!

Also, NYRR decided to make the Manhattan Half a fun run, so I wound up getting a point for it, even though I didn’t run it because of… well… you know.  Anyway, whatever, yippee.  I would have rather run the freaking thing in the snow than have this crap injury, but I’ll take this little gift anyway.  One 2012 race down, 8 to go.  Hoping I can put a dent in those 8 sooner rather than later!  (And, to be clear, I hope to do that by actually RUNNING THEM.)  FINGERS CROSSED!

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9 Responses to “BLUE”

  1. Ali on the Run January 24, 2012 at 3:25 pm #

    My heart hurts for you, Katie B, but you’re being smart by taking this time off running. Don’t think of these days as “lazy days” or “non-running days” — think of them as “prepping to be the best runner you can” or “Comeback Katie days.” I know I’m being preachy, and I know that if I were in your shoes…your boot, rather…I’d be crying and miserable, too. But you’re doing the right thing, and not running for a few weeks is better than not running ever again. And you know that as soon as you ARE back up and running, I’m game for another one of those awesome buddy runs. Maybe I won’t have to stop mid-run at Starbucks this time…

    I miss you. I like you. Come back from Queens so we can hit up Auction House.

    • Katie January 24, 2012 at 3:34 pm #

      Awww, thanks, Ali! I just have those moments where I convince myself that I WILL NEVER RUN AGAIN. (Dramz to the maxxxxxx.) Anyhow, when I am running again, we must hit up the Q’boro Bridge!
      AH rules, as do you. Lemme know when you can meet up and I’ll make a trip to the UES. You and the AH are worth it. 🙂

  2. runningseal January 25, 2012 at 1:45 am #

    Boo! Not any better?? Let me know if you want to see my PT…he seriously worked miracles with me. I had a different problem though. However, I did refer a friend of mine that had your problem and he got a lot better. Anyways just a thought. Hopefully I will get to run with you soon! Of course I am always up for a glass of wine or a few too…

    • Katie January 25, 2012 at 3:01 pm #

      Ooh, thanks, Celia! I will def hit you up if I throw in the towel on my PT, but so far I like him and am staying positive (this post notwithstanding! Haha.) Yes! Let’s get a drink some time! And I hope we are running together in no time! (Though at this point, I’m not sure I could keep up! :()

  3. Lori January 25, 2012 at 9:05 am #

    I sound like a broken record, Katie, but I am so, so sorry! The fingers and toes are crossed for a miraculously speedy recovery…hang in there!

    • Katie January 26, 2012 at 2:04 pm #

      thanks, baber! xoxoxo

  4. Josie January 25, 2012 at 9:08 am #

    ohhh, thats sucks katie!! I know how injuries make you feel. And whilst I am sure it will not help, everyone goes through them. And comes out the other end. Stay strong. I think a little pity party once and while helps (wine, chocolate, tears etc), then be positive again. Do everything your PT recommends, cross train if you can, enjoy not being out in the cold I think once spring comes, and the flowers come out- you will be out on the road again too 🙂

    • Katie January 25, 2012 at 3:01 pm #

      Thanks for the positivity, Josie! What a sweet message. 🙂

  5. thethinksicanthink January 26, 2012 at 10:59 pm #

    I totally feel your pain. When I first got injured, I kept bargaining with myself and saying “ok, just get through cross training until such and such date and then you’ll probably be able to run again.” It was that expectation that kept making my sadness worse. And, don’t worry, I cried, too. I was sad over missing running, over the fitness I lost, over not runnign with friends, over goals I didn’t think I could achieve anymore.

    I’ve gotten a little better this month and realized that this is just a valley in a series of peaks and valleys that will be running. I’ve taken the emotion out of it and have tried not to get excited over what happens each day — 10 minutes running? That’s great, but I can’t let my mind now jump to the runner I used to be because that’s just not realistic.

    I think it takes some time to get over the loss of what you had and then you’ll be fine. Take the emotion out of it. And, soon enough, you’ll realize you’re into a routine of cross training and don’t mind it as much as you did before. Try Soul Cycle or Fly Wheel (and I’ll go with you).

    Also, when you come back to running, take it from my experience, INCREASE SLOWLY.

    Just think – in a few months, these feeling and this injury will be a distant memory and you’ll be excited about some new goal and scared of a workout or something like that.

    You’ll be ok.

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